Be careful what you wish for!

Last year, somewhere in the middle of series 3 of The Great British Sewing Bee, mr Foxgloves developed a sudden interest in the show. We watched the next episodes together, sometimes replaying a part or pausing for explanation of technical matters. This year we were going to watch all episodes together. Nice, isn't it?
Well, it looks like this plan is backfiring! Mr Foxgloves is now a self proclaimed expert and very opinionated about my sewing, tsssss.

A few days ago I was working on a cushion cover and I was pretty pleased with my pattern matching.

Can you spot the seam?

Enter *Paddy* Foxgloves. In his best Patrick Grant-voice: "I think I spot a liiiiiittle bit of unevenness there, but overall, a big well done!"
What???
"O, and I forgot to mention you did a great job on that invisible zipper. No bubble at the end!"
Uhhh.... I used a regular zipper.
"No you didn't! I know what an invisible zipper looks like so you can't fool me!"

Spot the difference:

Well, okay. He's got the beard, the dreamy brown eyes, and on a good day he even has the dress sense. The backdrop may be a hint. One of these guys knows his haberdashery, one of them obviously doesn't. Yet.

I did mention the dress sense on a good day. Needless to say not all days are good days.
One day I found this in my sewing room:

The remains of mr F's favourite jeans

"Can you please mend this for me?"
Noooooo. What was he thinking?
"Maybe you can do something like they do in the Sewing Bee alterations challenge."
Grrmbl.

I offered to cut them off so he would have a shiny new pair of shorts.
"You're disappointing me, dear. That's not a very creative approach! You can make coats, and jackets, but you can't fix this?"
Now he had me cornered. He knows I can't say no to a challenge so that's how these beyond-repair-jeans ended on my sewing table. Not sure what to do with it, suggestions (especially creative(!) suggestions) are welcome. (I already told him that people are paying money for this fashionable distressed look, but he didn't buy it)

The cushion cover is finished. Now I'll struggle my way through 30 meters of curtain fabric and then I'm done with home dec sewing for a while.

Meanwhile Mr Foxgloves has redeemed himself by printing the pdf of my next project, the Cashmerette Upton dress. One more inappropriate remark about my sewing and I'll make him tape all 70 pages together. An allround sewing judge must be introduced to all the joys of sewing, right?